by Amanda Davis

A lot of life is spent this way: trapped in a van, barreling down the road, and hoping you don’t fall out the open door. The tires stirring up so much dust you can’t see where you’re going. Waiting for someone to grab you and pull you back in, but not knowing if you’ll even be the same person afterward because you lost so much of yourself along the way. When the car finally comes to a stop, though, you realize you made it. You climb out and let the streetlights guide you back home. 

This is the feeling that 44Blonde’s debut album Rehab Runaway captures. It’s the feeling of old memories and sipping whiskey and late-night conversations with friends where you realize the sun is coming back up. The album talks about addiction in an incredibly honest and vulnerable way, not shying from the desperation of being unable to escape your own toxic habits. The lyrics are raw, the music is well-produced, and the story is one that many listeners can relate to. Rehab Runaway is some of this year’s best alternative rock. “You Don’t Even Care” is an instant hit about looking for love in the party scene, and “Intervention” perfectly captures the desire to self-destruct while also being a cry for help. So many of us careen through life this way: waiting for someone to notice that we can’t slow down.  

But for all this, the album is still underscored with a sense of hopefulness. Sure—after the hundreds of lives you’ve lived in one night alone, you’re not going to be the same person that left your hometown. And maybe when you go back, it will be as different as you are. Maybe they built a store where your favorite park used to be the same way you built walls around yourself. But maybe that’s okay; as long as you can hang on until the van stops, you’ll make it. Take a deep breath when the dust settles. And listen to this album if you want to feel a little less alone.